Mean Parents Anonymous - Guilty As Charged
Posted: Monday, September 24, 2007
by Mary Fagan
Motherwise
My name is Mary and I’m a mean parent.
My crimes include, but are not limited to:
- Identification and communication of their whereabouts and activities.
- Encouraging them to get a job AND save some of their paycheck.
- Requiring a clean room and a bit of help around the house.
- Payment for some gas when tooling around for no reason.
- Speaking to them with respect and demanding the same back.
- Allowing them to bear the consequences of their own behavior.
- Being able to pronounce the word “no."
- Simple rules for clean and appropriate clothing, which implies use of their senses, namely sight, smell and common.
- Aiding and abetting other authority figures.
- Meaning what I say and saying what I mean.
Isolation works like the cooties. Cast out from their inner circle, devoid of the details of their day, you experience the dreaded “silent treatment." (Now you know why I have no fear. It’s more like a vacation.)
Unfortunately, this doesn’t last very long as your kids will be unable to tolerate your confinement any better than Paris took to hers. This time off from hearing about their behavior will be short-lived as they soon discover they need you for nearly every aspect of daily life.
Despite the little perks of mean parenthood such as this, some parents need may special help accepting their lot in life. Hence, the need for the Mean Parents Anonymous 12-Step Program.
Uncomfortable mean parents should remember to take each step one by one at their own pace. Begin by stating your name, admitting that you are a mean parent, and follow it with the following 12 statements:
- Admit that you have all the power and that family life is manageable when adults are in charge.
- Believe that a Power greater than you blessed you with this child who challenges your sanity.
- Decide to turn a good portion of your lifetime over to the care and raising of a healthy competent future adult.
- Make a fearless inventory of what is best for your kids. That involves having them share some jobs around the house, talking to others with respect and encouraging them to do their best.
- Acknowledge there might times you swear you don't know where they inherited the nature of their wrongs.
- Be entirely ready to remove all of their defects of character as soon as you get rid of your own.
- Humbly ask God to overlook your own because you are really busy right now.
- List all things done by your children that you have corrected and be willing to consider admitting years later if you were ever wrong. (It’s probably a short list.)
- Plan to make amends to this short list when possible, although not probable.
- Continue to take close inventory of the persons under your care even as they get mouthier and nastier.
- Pray for the knowledge and courage to continue providing parental guidance and supervision until they are of the age of reason or until age 30, whichever comes first.
- As a result of following these steps, acknowledge that you am trying to show your children how to grow into a responsible adult though you realize right now your messages may fall on deaf ears.
Just tell yourself that someday, your kids will know what you mean.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)hi mary, well, i can relate to every word. this is a weird world, piercings, tattoos, crowd surfing, screaming music that sounds like someone is dying. it's hard being a mom. this story is a classic! thanks for sharing, and being so candid!, best regards, sue thom
Excellent article. Their suffering endured now is but a short while and it forms the foundation for future life. Beyond mean it is really caring and the fact that you do will show up when the chips are down. When done without nagging it becomes the foundation they don't want to hear but are thankful for. Best wishes.
Dear mean parent; I love your article. I become dismayed when I am in Walmart and witness a 3-4 year old kicking his mother's shins and screaming "I want that...(whatever)" then proceding to run away while his spike-heeled mother tries to corral him without snapping a heel, or her ankle. It does not harm a child to turn their little bottom up and spank it when they are rude. It does not take daily spankings. Just as soon as they learn that you will do it, you won't have to. Some that I see today might go into shock the first time it was tried. People do not know the harm they are doing by refusing to discipline. Thanks for a good article.
Hi, Mary, What "mean" parent cannot identify with or gain a pick-me-up from this article? It is well-written, with good ideas and encouragement abounding, without fluff and with lots of entertainment included. Ah, the memories.~Jane
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