Mary Fagan

A Bitter Sweet Note



Posted: Friday, April 25, 2008

by
Motherwise

Parents of music students everywhere! Listen up! I have found a surefire way to enhance the quality and quantity of band practice without the typical threatening and nagging once required to make you feel like you’re getting your money out of purchasing that instrument that your child swore they’d practice until their lips or finger tips were blue. Yes, it can be done with very little blood, sweat and tears on your part. You just need one thing.

I discovered this secret to beautiful music quite by accident. My son had a band practice session at our house just recently, that I admit at first, was touch and go. There was that forgotten guitar strap, a missing page of lyrics, a cord too short to reach somewhere, etc. In short, every good boy was not doing fine.

Rest assured that I did my best to prod my son and his friends to get going as they only have so much time for practice. I got the usual, “Yeah, we know" and “We’re gonna have a snack first." I was getting ready to threaten to bring the little sour notes back home unless I heard some sounds other than cupboards closing, fridge doors opening and mouths flapping.

Suddenly, the quality and quantity of the music produced increased dramatically - I mean they actually started to play. It was even musical. I had to investigate this abrupt transition.

Then it all became crystal clear as I spied them eyeing my college-aged daughter and her friend, home for a visit. Pulling her aside, I asked her to tell me exactly what happened when they walked in the room.

“The boys suddenly got silent, shoved their sandwiches down their throats and started to play. They sound pretty good, don’t they?" my daughter said sweetly, acting pseudo-oblivious about the boy’s sudden motivation, but the toss of her hair and little smirk betrayed her self-knowledge that she is pretty cute. That and the boys’ drool that was beginning to make me nervous about their use of electricity so close to moisture.

It was clear that the girls got them to do in one minute what all a mother’s cajoling couldn’t in an hour. And sure, I know the score. No one has to tell me twice that I am chopped liver.

Maybe it was wrong for me to suggest the girls sun themselves just outside the window, but I am sure the other boys’ parents want to get their money’s worth of out their instrument purchases and lessons too. And besides, I didn’t want them to just keep eating and eating what’s in my fridge and add to America’s obesity problems. (And my grocery bill.)

So parents, to get your little music lover to play their heart out, you just need someone of the opposite sex, close in age, in close proximity.

Was I bitter when I realized that I no longer have the ability to inspire beautiful music from teenaged savage beasts? No, my days of inspiring that special motivation haven’t fallen completely flat. I still get me share of attention, if only for a brief interlude.

And besides, I always feel like a better person after I visit the nursing home.
Mary Fagan has an M.S. in Education and is the mother of three children. She also has the grey hairs to prove it. When not watching them closely, Ms. Fagan offers humorous insights on parenting and motherhood at www.motherwise.us.
This Article has been viewed 2,786 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)
» left by Avis Ward
3 years 262 days ago.
131 fans.
You're a blast and I enjoy reading your articles! Thanks for the laughs and insight. I'll be sure to pass it on. Great writing, Mary, thank you!
» left by Mary Fagan 3 years 259 days ago.
59 fans. Follow Mary Fagan on twitter!
Thanks, Avis. The funny thing is that I usually have a blast writing these articles myself. My kids don't think I am so funny so I will be sure to show them your comments!
» left by Avis Ward 3 years 259 days ago.
131 fans.
You're welcome, Mary. That'll show 'em!
» left by Dianne Lehmann
3 years 258 days ago.
131 fans.
Mary, this was wonderful. Very masterful manipulation. Right now, I am caring for some pets of friends. The dog was being very resistant to getting up and going outside to urinate yesterday. I had noticed previously that he would get annoyed when I played with one of the cats and he wasn't included. He would always get up off his bed and come over and butt in. So I started playing with the cat and sure enough, up he came. Once he is up, I can usually get him out the door. Oh by they way, he weighs almost as much as I do, so picking him up is not an option. I always love your sense of humor and the insights you bring to your articles. Dianne
» left by Mary Fagan 3 years 247 days ago.
59 fans. Follow Mary Fagan on twitter!
Thanks, Dianne. Oh, the things we have to do to get the things we need to get done!
» left by sue thom
from nj
3 years 258 days ago.
hi mary, i missed you. you brought back fond memories of my 20 year old playing his guitar, and his friends coming over to "jam." now he's jamming at his own apartment! this was a well written, funny article, as always. i needed the lift, thank you, best regards, sue thom
» left by Mary Fagan 3 years 247 days ago.
59 fans. Follow Mary Fagan on twitter!
Hi Sue - How nice to be missed! Always happy to give you a lift and get one back when I need one. Happy Mother's Day to you!
» left by Lorrie Davids
3 years 258 days ago.
96 fans.
Loved your article, Mary. Nothing like a little biology to get them to study music.
» left by Mary Fagan 3 years 247 days ago.
59 fans. Follow Mary Fagan on twitter!
You got that right. And it made for an entertaining afternoon for me as well. (and I don't mean the music.)
» left by Ken McCreless
3 years 257 days ago.
85 fans. Follow Ken McCreless on twitter!
It would have worked for me! Great arfticle...
» left by Mary Fagan 3 years 247 days ago.
59 fans. Follow Mary Fagan on twitter!
Thanks, Ken. Glad you enjoyed it!
» left by Kimberly
3 years 257 days ago.
18 fans.
Great article! This just reinforces the fact of why, I joined your fan club! Take Care Kimberly
» left by Mary Fagan 3 years 247 days ago.
59 fans. Follow Mary Fagan on twitter!
Hey Kimberly! How good to see you here. I hope you enjoy the articles and friends you meet here at Searchwarp as much as I do. Take care, Mary
» left by Judi Lake
3 years 256 days ago.
99 fans. Follow Judi Lake on twitter!
Ha, Mary, this was great! I need the laugh and am grateful for the education - I especially liked what you wrote, "Maybe it was wrong for me to suggest the girls sun themselves just outside the window,..." Nah, you just did what you had to do! Hope you are well!
» left by Mary Fagan 3 years 247 days ago.
59 fans. Follow Mary Fagan on twitter!
I am still debating about that one myself. It was either that or take an extra strength Advil. I opted for a natural cure. Happy Mothers Day, Judy!
» left by Gary W. Halsey Sr.
2 years 309 days ago.
51 fans.
This was great Mary, I have 3 dogs of my own, and could really relate. I enjoyed your article and the funny wit that you mixed in with it....well done !!!! Your friend in pen, and fan, .........Gary.
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