I Am a Facebook Loser
Posted: Monday, February 23, 2009
by Mary Fagan
Motherwise
Yes, that is me. I opened a Facebook account just to cash in on $25 worth of free advertising. I wanted to remain anonymous so I posted no photos, etc. that would identify me. Low and behold, my nephew found me, told my kids, and then all hell broke lose. Apparently this makes me a big loser as the site is for younger people - younger people than me.
I had to laugh when my husband's friend, who is even older than me, found me on Facebook. My kids really like him and think he is cool. I thought his acceptance of me would get me a bit of a pass, but no. He is a loser too. I plan on breaking this to him gently as he is older and probably can't handle too much stress or excitement.
While I was on Facebook, I noticed something called a poke. Not having a clue what it was and being terminally curious, I poked my daughter. Nothing happened - until about 4 hours after when she sent me a seething e-mail about not poking her again and another dire warning to stay off of Facebook.
It seems a poke is nothing. The other person just gets an e-mail saying that so-and-so poked you. This simple little virtual mode of annoyance made me want to poke and poke her again.
Why is it, that after all these years, my kids don't learn how to manage me? If they really wanted me to get off of Facebook, they would constantly pester me, fill my space with useless drivel and ask me incessant questions like they do in real life. With this mystery unsolved, my Facebook account lives on and has become my entertainment.
I admit I felt a bit overexposed when my niece found me and posted photos of me sewing on a quilt with my reading glasses on so that I look like Granny Moses' older sister. All I needed was a shawl. Oh, wait, that was on my lap.
At least she posted a more flattering one of me vamping under a Twilight movie poster that she took when I dropped the kids off at the theater recently. Lest you think that I am really a loser, I didn't watch Twilight at the theater. I just picked the kids up there. I noticed that the audience was about 99.8% teens and young adults and I know my place.
Boy, I would have been a real loser to have gone in to watch it with them.
Instead I read the books. I prefer to be a loser in the comfort of my own home.
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More commentsMary,Great article, and quite entertaining. Thanks for sharing this write with us.Nice to hear from you, Ronyae! Thank you!
I have had several friends send me a "So and so has listed you as a friend. Join now!" emails. Stuff like that always made me nervous, the "something for nothing" mentality. But even with that I thought about doing it because I was told it was a good way to promote your writing. After reading your article that idea is out!!Funny stuff from a talented writer.You know, Ken, I have also been told that Facebook is a good way to promote things. People say this about Twitter too. I guess I don't have the time to figure out how that works. Thank you for your comments!
Hi Loser . . . errr . . . Mary,
Sorry, your label.
Well, I've recently been looking into all this social networking, marketing, poking, probing, messaging stuff, and I find that if you do it too much it can merely be a waste of valuable time. And what is it that is so great about cyber space anyway? I kinda like people in the flesh over fantasy (lots of people not portraying the real self, yes?)
But having signed up at Goodreads (social network for book lovers), Twitter (not sure what this one does; only checking it out because my business coach suggested it--now I "follow" him. Huh?), Talitopia (for artists, actors, and the like), and even just now Facebook, what does it all mean?
I have these accounts, but because I'm so busy with creating my business, marketing, and positioning, I'm not sure how I will use these social networks or if I'll use them at all.
I have stopped using Goodreads because it's basically a bunch of writers promoting to writers. I also used to belong to another social network that supposedly promoted writers, but once again it was writers promoting to writers who didn't buy anyone's stuff because they were, well . . . writers. Writers write to get read not to read, yes?
And this Twitter thing? I follow him, who's following her, who's following me in little snippets of "what I did today"? Do I really care?
I don't know. I'm kinda stuck like you. What is this all about? Well, Loser, let this newbie tell you . . . I've got no clue!
Thanks for the article. Timely and topical.
Dear Jeff, If you ever figure out how to use Twitter to promote yourself please let me know. I don't consider myself a slow-learner and I have a Twitter account but when I go there they keep adding features, making it even more confusing. I hadn't even heard of some of the social networking sites you mention. I keep wondering who has time to be hugging their cell phone 24/7 and tweeting back and forth with "at" messages when there are real people standing at my desk or at my door with assignments? (Okay, so some of these are my kids needing a ride or $5 for a "snack" but you get the picture.)And I agree - do I care? Sometimes I think it's a house of cards. Fun to play but not all it's stacked up to be. Signed, A Lovable Loser
Hi Mary. I've missed you around these parts. Welcome back with a hug! I, too, am a Facebook Looser and from the looks of it, I'm in good company. Missed your sense of humor, too!Helo fellow loser! Nice to hear from you, Avis and it's nice to visit again. Take care!
Howdy Mary, I am a facebook loser too....although my kids are the ones who wanted me to get on there, (kind of the opposite of your I suppose), they wanted me on there because I am a stuntman and have been in movies and entertainment, then all of my fellow performers, almost everyone of them, except I haven't found Gary Busey yet, no am I looking...at any rate, I was actually invited to join by my kids! They thought it was cool....but.....(in a whispering voice).....I don't get it? Facebook is so weird. One minute some is writing on my wall, (I just cleaned it yesterday), and then, I was kidnapped to some far off land, and they want me to escape? Why did they kidnap me to begin with? What is up with giving me a drink on facebook? huh? How am I gonna drink it? And then comes the Valentines day warm fuzzies of "Someone wants you to be their Valentines", did anyone read my profile...I am married, and happily at that? Then it says send a Valentines wish to the person that sent you this one???? Why? I don't even know her??? I'm a cowboy, I don't need little red hearts, someone may be watching!! I have an image to maintain!!! I just don't get it....maybe I am way to old for this, and I think allot of it is nonsense.......But!!! I do like your article, and I have never review your article before, so just to let you know, I am joining your fan club, because I like how you write.....that said, Your fan, and friend in pen.......Gary(Whispering) Dear Gary - I know, I know. It is weird. It took me some time to adjust to the wall, the drinks, pokes, etc. What other virtual bodily actions will they come up with next? Makes me shudder. I am glad for you that your kids wanted you to be on Facebook.It sounds like they are proud of you. Just play along. Mine want to keep me out which only makes me more curious. Maybe there is something on their wall about me that they don't want me to see? (I do have one child in college...) Well, you know what they say about curiosity. Meow. I enjoyed your comments very much, friend in pen!
Thanks, Mary, for a funny piece straight from your comic heart. I enjoyed the read. ~mogama~
Change the gender and I am you. MEd, gray hair, parent, raised 3 kids, searchwarp contributor, and like you, I've learned to laugh (mostly at myself). Although I know dozens of Facebook people, my age or older - my kids would absolutely blow a gasket if they ever found my mug or info on there. Thanks for making my morning. Dave "Po" Potchak
PS - another attribute that we have in commom, I too am a blue level author, rating in the 600's - but we both are much more deserving of a higher rating. LOL - a little humor there.
Mary, Fun to read! I am very active on Facebook, Twitter and some other sites. I even have a social network of my own! I can say that the networking aspect of all of this (not to mention finding old friends) has been very rewarding for me. In my opinion, anyone with a small business should consider learning how to navigate these sites. All the best, Barbara
Great article. Well done.I have never joined any of the major social "networks" I see no point. Am I miserable?
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